Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If that was your dad, he is hot
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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