She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
