If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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