it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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