I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
