Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
