so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
