Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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