I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize