also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
