just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
