Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
