I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
