I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
