we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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