That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
