do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
