oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
