i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
