Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
