Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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