it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
