Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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