I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
