Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
