I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
