Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
