When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
