The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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