We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Of course I have a pirate flag
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
