so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Your cock deserves a montage
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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