Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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