Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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