we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just pee around me
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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