Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
