Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
