Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
