So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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