i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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