I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
BRING THE BAGELS
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
