Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
