I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
