I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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