It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
