Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
