things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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