is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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