i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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