I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
