One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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