ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Do you still have your period?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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