is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
